War
by ohamandalynn
Summary: Jim needs something to do. Spock obliges. Companion to "Sand Storm"; if you don't read it first, this one will confuse you. No slash, sorry.


War

ohamandalynn

* * *

A/n: Well, people asked for it and I obliged. This is the companion to Sand Storm. I'm continuing to be a massive dork and whatnot. For those of you that are reading Slight Sarcasm, this is another universe [one of many] so don't get all confused and yell at me. I pulled the plot out of my behind. [cackles]

Rating: K+, I think. While they are no longer adorable children, I'll try to keep my potty mouth from ruining the cute factor.

Disclaimer: I'll throw my orange juice at you if you even _try_ to say I own this. And don't think I won't do it. I will.

* * *

Jim was in a rare mood.

They were in the middle of a twelve day voyage to some undiscovered corner of the galaxy, assuredly filled with mischief and mayhem, and Jim still found that he was so extraordinarily bored, he didn't know what to do with himself. Hardly anyone was on the bridge. The ship was basically set on cruise control. Everyone had found their little niche somewhere on the ship.

Everyone except Jim.

He wandered the halls, trying to butt into everyone's fun, but even when he did that, he was _still_ bored. It was like a disease. At one point, he and Chekov had started playing wall-ball down one of the hallways, managing to hit Uhura in the head, then flee her wrath in a endless wave of laughter. They even managed to almost hit Spock with the ball, but the half-Vulcan caught it before it hit his face, his reflexes so startlingly fast, he sort of scared Jim.

"Is there not a better environment in which to use this?" Spock asked.

"Nope," both Jim and Chekov said in unison.

Spock looked down at the neon tennis ball, giving it an assessing look, then started the other way.

"Hey! Spock! Don't kidnap our ball!" Jim whined, chasing after the half-Vulcan. Spock made it to his quarters and shut the door before he could follow.

Since that was the only tennis ball he and Chekov were able to find, that brought about the end of wall-ball on the _Enterprise_. Jim went back to being bored until one morning during breakfast, Spock handed him a floppy, rubber object, one side neon, the other side an off-white. He realized that it was his tennis ball, only gutted and mutilated. He stared at the ball in horror, then looked at Spock, mouth hanging open.

"You _killed_ it, Spock!" he cried, waving the limp thing at Spock as he said it.

"It was never alive. Therefore, your accusation is incorrect," Spock replied, beneath that Vulcan control, looking highly amused.

"What did it ever do to you?" Jim demanded, pouting.

"I believe the term is 'revenge'," he said. Then he walked away. Jim thought for a minute, then realized what he said.

He stood and shouted across the dining area. "This means war!"

Spock glanced back at him, an eyebrow quirked, eyes full of humor. "Very well then."

So began the _Enterprise_ wars.

Jim's first attack was the use of a whoopee cushion, a joke gift his mother had given him last time he was on Earth. He put it in Spock's chair on the bridge, waiting patiently for a time when they would all have to be on the bridge. They usually gathered once a day, in the morning, after breakfast, just to do a systems check and whatnot. That morning, when Spock walked in, he couldn't help but grin. He glanced over at Chekov, who was also in on the scheme, and bit his tongue, trying to keep the laughter at bay.

He didn't dare look back at the first officer and just waited for the lovely sound of Spock "breaking wind", but it never came. He glanced back to see Spock sitting there, going about his business.

Ah, foiled!

"Captain, it appears Mr. Scott requires your presence in the engineering room," Spock said after a few minutes, looking completely innocent.

God, Jim should've known.

But like an idiot, he nodded, left the bridge via turbo lift, and went to engineering. Scotty looked completely confused as to why Jim was even there, claiming he never sent for him. He gritted his teeth. If Spock thought that sending Jim on a wild goose chase was a prank, then the guy seriously needed to be shown what a real prank was.

Apparently, he was very wrong.

He went back to the bridge, threw a glare at the overly innocent looking Spock, and sat down in his chair.

Mannnnnnnn.

Everyone in the bridge snapped their heads towards him and he was reminded vaguely of middle school back in Iowa when he accidentally broke wind in class. It was embarrassing then, but now it was just aggravating, especially because he didn't _actually_ break wind.

People on the bridge started to giggle and fail miserably at stifling the giggles. With a growl, he reached under him and pulled out the pale pink whoopee cushion and glared at it. This seemed to make everyone laugh louder - they hadn't been in on the joke, apparently, so the discovery of it was amusing to them.

He swiveled around and faced his first officer, who was giving him a wide-eyed, _so-very_ innocent expression. "Spock!" he cried, throwing the whoopee cushion at the half-Vulcan like a Frisbee.

When they were finished on the bridge and most of the crewmembers had left, Jim approached Spock, glaring idly. "That was a dirty trick, Mr. Spock."

"You announced war. I never claimed to fight fair," he said, standing, setting the whoopee cushion in Jim's hands, and heading for the turbo lift. "I expected better, I must say," he added, before the doors shut.

After that, they _both_ played dirty. From hacking into the replicators and turning the Vulcan foods into slush, to "accidentally" dumping sleeping pills into Jim's coffee, the schemes got grander and grander. It got to the point that Jim was seriously considering knocking him out, putting him into an escape pod, and sending him jettison. But that would involve possibly losing Spock.

He liked Spock.

So, he decided to get some more of that Vulcan slush the replicators were producing, and put it in Spock's bed. He knew he could hack into Spock's room; it was just a matter of keeping him distracted long enough. He employed Chekov to be an over-curious teenager and ask Spock silly questions about Vulcans. He got a bucket of Vulcan slush, headed for Spock's room, hacked in, and went for the bed.

Suddenly, he could no longer see.

Slimy, disgusting, _smelly_ Vulcan slush was dumped unceremoniously over his head, making his gasp, which made him inhale some, which made him choke. Then he heard laughter. And it sounded so weird because he knew who was laughing, and couldn't believe it.

He wiped the slime from his face and looked back at a highly amused Spock. "You pointy-eared-!" he shouted, shaking his hands in the air.

"Your attempts to gain advantage in this war seem to be futile. Perhaps you should give up," Spock suggested, cutting Jim off.

"Chekov was supposed to keep you occupied!" Jim cried, not understanding what had gone wrong.

"I, as you say, 'bribed' him," Spock said, setting down the bucket he had used to dump the Vulcan slush on Jim.

"How much?" he asked, wiping more slush off him.

"Twenty credits," Spock replied.

"Aw, that's just weak," Jim swore, flinging slush at Spock, who sidestepped it with inhuman speed. Then he paused, brain doing a belated double take. "Wait, wait, wait."

Spock eyed him curiously.

"Did you just laugh?" he asked, truly amazed. He had never even seen the guy _smile_, let alone laugh.

"It is not outside my capabilities. The circumstances granted it," Spock replied, still looking just as amused.

"But I've heard you laugh _before_," Jim insisted, now gawking at him, hardly believing what he was coming to realize.

"I do not believe I have ever laughed in your presence before this occasion," Spock said, looking curious now.

Well, _damn_. Could it really be?

"Hey, Spock," Jim asked, trying to sound casual, despite the fact that he was covered in disgusting slime. "When you were a kid, did you used to hide under tables when it would storm?"

The half-Vulcan's eyes went wide in undisguised shock. "How do you know this?"

"Because I did too," he replied with a grin. A deep recognition seemed to pass through the two of them. Jim looked pleased with himself and Spock look slightly incredulous.

"_You_ were the human boy I met when I was seven?" Spock asked after a moment.

"Well, seeing as I'm pretty sure you're the little Vulcan runt I met outside Starfleet the day of my aunt's wedding, I guess so," Jim laughed, hardly believing that he had been working with Spock for almost a year now, and _just_ figured out they had met once before.

"Wait one moment," Spock ordered, and walked into the small closet on the other side of the room. Jim took this moment to go into the bathroom and attempt to wash off the Vulcan slush. He got a majority of it off, but found that he wasn't very angry about it anymore. Not with this new discovery. He looked back on the entire time he had known Spock, except through the filter that they really had met previously.

It was hilarious.

When he had first met Spock when being reprimanded for hacking the _Kobayashi Maru_, he had been thinking how Spock was nothing like that awesome Vulcan boy he met when he was younger.

He stepped back into the room, just as Spock came out, carrying something incredibly familiar. "I believe this belongs to you?" he asked, holding out a toy starship.

Jim couldn't help but laugh. "Oh my god! I remember! I jumped in a _pond_ to get that thing! After that horrible storm we both hid from!" He took the ship from Spock and examined it, remembering how excited he had been when his aunt had given it to him. It had been brand new that day, and he had decided to give it to Spock, just so he wouldn't forget him.

Wow.

"I still do not understand why you gave it to me," Spock said, watching Jim as he continued to look over the ship.

"I don't know why you still _have_ it!" Jim laughed. "I was such a bratty kid - I probably decided to be nice for once, seeing as you were just visiting. You looked scared out of your mind on that bench. That was the only reason I went over there in the first place. But I had to play it off like a tough guy. I was just trying to impress you, I guess."

"Impress me?" Spock asked curiously.

"I was six, Spock," Jim said, giving him a look.

"Six and a half," the half-Vulcan corrected him.

Jim burst out laughing once more. He handed the ship back to Spock, shaking his head. "You keep it."

"Are you certain?"

"Man, I probably still have pond water in my brain from that - I didn't do it for nothing!" Jim insisted. Spock gave him an assessing look, then nodded, and returned it to the closet. As he did, Jim suddenly felt a warm, happy feeling in his mind - Spock actually _kept_ it. That made him happier than he had bargained for. "You know, now that I know who you are, I don't think I can keep having this war with you."

"Or perhaps you have begun to realize your efforts are in vain," Spock said. Jim frowned half-heartedly at the tease.

"Hey, I'm being nice here," he said, wagging a finger at him.

"You are?" Spock asked.

"Stop making fun of me!" Jim whined.

"I am?" he went on.

"Is this revenge? For the fact I said you talked funny? Because, you know what? You _still do_," Jim said, resisting the childish urge to stick his tongue out.

"I have already gotten my revenge," Spock said, looking almost serene.

"You have?" Jim asked. And continued asking for several minutes. Finally, when Spock refused to budge, he left, heading back to his room to change his clothes. He walked in, not even bothering with the lights, and changed his clothes. As he went back towards the door, he passed by his bed and thus began a series of quick movements.

First, he stepped on something that "broke wind", then he slipped on that something, then landed face first in his bed.

No, not his bed.

A bed covered in inches of Vulcan slush.

"Spock!" he howled, voice muffled by the slush. Outside his door, he heard more of that laughter.

The laughter from his childhood.

* * *

_End_

Gosh, I'm such a dork. The only reason I say the whole slipping on the whoopee cushion actually worked is because it was Spock who set up the trap, therefore it will invariably work. Plus, he most likely coated the bottom of the whoopee cushion with more slush.

I had fun with this one, though good ideas of pranks that weren't _too_ drastic escaped me. My senior year of high school didn't teach me very well.

Anyway, thank you for reading and thank you to all who asked for a companion. Hope I did it justice.

Reviews, darlings!


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